australian seasons

fifimacaffee:

• fire. fire everywhere. the brave spend time at the beach. asphalt melts and takes your shoes prisoner. there are tan lines everywhere, and sickly white bellies are exposed to the sun for the first time this year. somehow queensland is flooding. this is how it ends
• the one season everyone survives. leaves look crunchy but never are. fashion peaks, and people try to save as much warmth as they can. everyone prepares for death again
• nuclear winter. everything is cold. the coffee you made a minute ago is frozen. everything is damp for three months. sickness plagues the nation. somehow queensland is warm. the weak die out
• killer birds. find your war helmets and protect the young. those who show weakness are the first to die. if you cannot run, arm yourself and pray the birds do not smell fear. also the grand final. never schedule anything on grand final day